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Charky & Ash's Advice to Oliver
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Date: Sun, 1 Nov 1998 23:00:48 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: Re: Can I come to the ball too???
To: <PETBUNNY@LSV.UKY.EDU>
Hi Oliver!
Charky here!
> I don't think this is working! Fury is just too cute and loveable!!
Oh those wusses are the worst!
> Last night while he was out I called him over to my cage [snip]
> going on she told me to settle down and let Fury have some!!! It didn't
> work at all!! We have to think of something!
BTW, are you ... er.. snipped? Your slaves shouldn't be leaving you
in a cage while that little furball of Fury is wandering around. No way!!
::HaRumph::
This ain't working Man. Let me think something....
*whiskers twitching*
o Have you tried chasing him and biting his butt?
o Have you tried leaving poops on the bed,
making Fury hop on the bed and then calling your Mom?
o Have you tried teaching him how to be a tough bun.
I can send you a copy of my book "How to be a Tough Buff Bun"
or you can order it by calling 1-T00-ugh-Buns
o Have you tried acting like an angel while the humans are looking at you
and as soon as they leave the room, chew on their favorite sofa
or rug then, after they return, act all innocent?
> But about Bunny, I think you may have misread my letter about her.
> She my kitty friend. Not a bunnette.
Oh.... A cat called Bunny... ummmm... and Mom who calls us "cozy-cats".
*whiskers twitching* trying to understand... Now, are these humans really
crazy and weird or what? I do not get it!
> She told me that our lady slave didn't have a bunny and
> really wanted one but her SO (short for
> stupid oaf)
^^^^^^^^^^
HAR-HAR. Good one! At home SO means "Serve and Obey" HAR-HAR.
> (BTW, our lady slave left the SO and found a new one who lets her
> have just about all the bunnies and other animals she wants.)
SO's need to have a bun's approval.
> Oooo! Bunny did something to the vet like you did! [snip]
> She punctured the bottle real bad!!!! She showed him!
HAR-HAR. She is cool man! Speaking about puncturing bottles, my brother
Ashy bit the IV line and IV fluid squirted all over the vet tech's face.
HAR-HAR. Humans are sooooo dumb.
> The SO that my lady slave brought home to stay used to pick me up and
> stuff but he doesn't so much anymore. I guess I scared him. I was
> always nipping and scratching and kicking.
Good, good, Oliver. That was pretty good. Now, what you need to do next to
get what you want is to present yourself and act really wussy. The SO will
bring you all the treats you want. Then when you are done eating, you go
back to nipping and scratching and kicking and thumping. That will teach
him NOT to stop feeding you treats. HAR-HAR. That really works, Man. Go for
it!
> I will tell my slave to get a sand box for me for Christmas. I think I
> might like it! Perhaps I could examine yours at the ball tonight?
Yes, we can poop and pee in there and push and dig all the sand out of the
box so that the slave will have to clean up. No rest for the slaves! Also
we can throw sand to the girls. HAR-HAR. HAR-HAR.
Your friend,
Charky
Jr. Tough Bun
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