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FurryGate - Mr. Charkident gets in trouble with Monica Lapinsky
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Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 14:21:08 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: FurryGate (was: Bunny Bride and Groom)
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY <PETBUNNY@LSV.UKY.EDU>
On Mon, 26 Jan 1998 09:26 Princess Marti <fificat1@JUNO.COM> wrote:
> OK, but, if you marry me, you can't flirt with those other fuzzy dewlaps
> that come along. Still want to get hitched?
Of course I won't flirt with other fuzzy dewlaps, noooo, never, my Princess.
Charky ...dozing off into RWM (Rapid Whisker Movement) sleep...
...ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ...ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ...
The camera lights come up high, as the throng of Green House Press Corps
reporters surge forward. Let's direct our ears to the podium.
MR. CHARKIDENT: Listen to me now. I will say this just once again. Those
allegations are completely false ::THUMP:: I never ever had dewlap
relations with that doe, Miss Lapinsky, NEVER. ::THUMP:: And I never ever
told anyone to lie. ::THUMP:: Now I've got to get back to work chewing
carpets in the oval office. ::THUMP::
Mr. Charkident exits the room with First Bun Martina hopping madly behind.
REPORTER TAUPE DONALDSON: Mr. Press Secretary, what did the Charkident mean
exactly by the term "dewlap relations"? Seems fuzzy to me.
ASH MCFURRY: You heard what Mr. Charkident said. I am not going to dignify
that question by attempting to parsley that term.
BNN BREAKING NEWS: Our Senior Reporter Ms. Sinbad has spoken with a secret
service agent, who claims to have seen Mr. Charkident and Ms. Lapinky in a
compromising loaf position... There is evidence of cilantro margarita
stains on Ms. Lapinsky's romaine skirt, which she was saving as a trophy of
her conquest... Stay tuned to BNN for the latest developments in the
FurryGate scandal.
Later that night on the Green House balcony...
FIRST BUN MARTI: Listen, you cheating chipmunk, I've had it with your butt
fur twitching ways! Enough is enough. Bunniffer Flowers, Marilyn Bunroe,
now Monica Lapinsky - barely even a doe. That's it. You promised to me when
we got married that I was going to be the only one.
MR. CHARKIDENT: But my Princess, (grovelling, with whiskers on the floor),
I would *never* do that. YOWWWCHHH. You are pulling... you are pulling
my... that hurts! No, no Princess Marti, don't reach for that, don't do
that, NOOOOOO00000000000000000000000000000!!!
ASHY: Wake up Chark, you are having a nightmare. Wake up, wake up, Chark.
CHARKY: What, where am I? What's happening, Ash McFurry? Where is Lorena
Bunnitt, er... I mean... First Bun Marti?
ASHY: Ash McFurry, Lorena Bunnitt, First Bun Marti? HAR-HAR. You are
funny, Chark. You were having a bad dream, that's all...
CHARKY: Yes, -whew- a bad dream... Let me check to see if I have all my
parts intact? Yes, this is ok, yup, everything's there, yes, everything is
ok [AHHH]... You know, I was thinking, I love Princess Marti very much. But
maybe, just maybe I should tell Princess Marti to continue having fun being
friends for awhile longer before getting married. What do you think, Ashy?
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