|
|
Uncle Crapper & Uncle Bunnicula Classes for Little Squirts?
|
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 1996 11:29:10 -0500
From: "Dr. Cristina Forbes"
Subject: Classes for Little Squirts?
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY
Hi, Uncle Crapper and Uncle Bunnicula!
Charcoal and Ash (your adorable baby nephews) here.
Can you teach us how to do the "squirt" thing?
How do you get the angle correct? Does it take
practice to hit your slave accurately in the eye/ear?
Is a "spray" (vs. "squirt") action more appropriate
for covering wide swaths, like new pajamas or a bedspread?
What kind of a range do you think we can achieve? We won't
squirt right away, but we need to know... for the future.
You see, mom hasn't found a home for us yet. Someone wanted
us but to eat us (why?). Mommy got very upset. Maybe we can
offer him carrot tops instead? Anyway, it seems we are staying
here longer than expected, maybe even FOREVER (shhh...) but we
do not mind (tee-hee).
SCORE:
adorable baby buns: 2
soft human hearts : 0
=:3
The male slave wants to keep us - he continues saying things
about finding us in the crate near the dumpster and "fate".
Mom doesn't say anything yet but she brings us carrot tops and
cilantro at all hours of the night, hugs us a lot and tells the
male slave that we are so "cu-u-ute". I think she wants us too.
So, we do not want to upset her with the "squirt thing" just yet
because we want to stay in this house and, if we upset her, she
might try even harder to find us a new home. Is this a good
strategy, Uncle Crap and Uncle Bunni?
It seems that tomorrow is the end of our 2 week quarrantine, so
our slaves are going to bring us out from our isolated room and
set us up in the middle of the dining room, where our 2 sisters can
sniff at us through the mesh wall of our child's playpen (temporary
cage). Mom is worried that the girls will go crazy when they see us
(well, *naturally*) and we will escape. She talks a lot about
plywood and wire... Is this a bad sign?
Uncle Crap and Uncle Bunni, please point out the finer points of
"squirting" vs. "spraying" vs. "hosing", and tell us how to escape
and meet the girls "fur-to-fur". Maybe you can hold classes for
Little Squirts like us: "Baiting Your Slave", "Long Distance Hosing",
"Carpet Chewing 101", "Optimum Cecal Poop Placement", "Advanced Cage
Escape Strategies", ...? Please post the lecture notes on this list
so we can follow along, okay?
Your nephews and future stud muffin rabbitz,
Charcoal and Ash
|
|
|
