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Date: 7/12/06
Subject: Chark in the Dark
Hey, all you Tough Bunz out there, check out how Ashy and I
tortured our *hapless* slaves last night! Brutal psychological
conditioning, eh? -- Charcoal.
Mom always comes to pet us on the balcony. She came out last night
and saw that Ashy was alone and scared (we are always together) --
she could not find me. She went into "lost bun PANIC mode".
"AAAIEEE!!! Where's my bay-bee?" Ash, my scout, was following her
everywhere (and leaving a secretly coded poop trail) because he knew
she was looking for me. I couldn't tip him off as to where I was
because Mommy would have realized.
She couldn't find me *anywhere*, so she called Dad. She told him she
was afraid I had jumped off the balcony. TEE-HEE. (Nothing is better
than to panic Mom and Dad!) They spent more than half-an-hour looking
for me while I admired their efforts from the distance. "Colder, you're
gettin' colder, now warmer, gettin' warmer, nah, now you're lost again,
looks like you're doin' the figure-8 honeybee dance!" TEE-HEE.
Oops, [CRACKLE], I stepped on a leaf, then Dad realized that I had
penetrated the SECRET FORTRESS (a lounge chair propped up sideways
like a babygate to prevent us from reaching the "plant section" of
the balcony, where all the forbidden crunchy goodies are stashed).
TEE-HEE. They could not figure out how I had entered and I did not
tell them either. "Hmmm... no battering ram, no teeth marks,..."
Later, when I was about to re-enter the SECRET FORTRESS, Mom almost
nailed me. "Charky!" she hollered, as she sprinted out onto the
balcony. OOPS! Assume frozen bunny statue position, turn on glowing
halo, melt her with my angel face, wiggle porcupine-like whiskers
for maximum effect, then put myself in "You may worship me now!"
petting position. She came and the two of us snuggled for awhile.
Then she left. TEE-HEE, now back to my *diabolical* deeds!
It was time to go to bed and I saw Dad coming. I told Ashy to follow
me this time. Dad couldn't find us once again, so he went to the plant
section and there we were. **Paw wave!** HAR-HAR. We scurried
through-and-around the potted plants. We heard him cussin' and swearin'
as his Flintstone block feets stumbled over the roots. "#$@%& OOOF!"
Then he fell face down in the putrid plant water and bird droppings,
just as our fluffy tails bounded away, out of his grasp. =:3 =:3
These slaves are such incredible losers, they still can't figure out
how we are getting through. "The girls never did!" they keep saying,
"the girls played on the balcony for 2 years and *never* went into
that area. Maybe we need to build a moat?"
Fast-forward: "Sire, the moat monsters have escaped!" HAR-HAR.
Charcoal
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