Date: Wed, 18 Mar 1998 21:04:49 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: Charky & Ash listen to Uncle Paul's Story - 1
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY
On Thu, 9 Jan 1997 13:53, "Mr. Peanut" (Paul Halpern) wrote:
> This same page, BTW, also has a link to the peanuts story which those
> two pestiferous punks have been insisting upon hearing once again... 8-)
Pee, stir, fur... us?
Chef Uncle Paul, is this a recipe for some new culinary delight - Bunny Berries au'Rotten? Does this spread well on a Ritz cracker? Have you gone into the gourmet catering business now? Can we still reach you at 1-800-EAT-POOP?
Speaking of gourmet treats, we are reminiscing of a time, not so long ago...
On Fri, 28 June 1996, Charcoal & Ash wrote:
> Please, please, PLEEEAAASE, Uncle Paul! Will ya tell it
> [the bedtime story] to us again, huh? PLEEEAAASE, now, now, NOW!
then on Sat, 29 Jun 1996 13:11, "Mr. Peanut" (Paul Halpern) wrote:
> Okay, one last time for the newbies...
Hooray!!! Mommy, come listen! Uncle Paul's gonna tell us "The Poop Story" again! Yippeee!!!
> Back when Muffy was still a little tiny guy,
Yeah, just like *us* Junior Tough Buns! Oooh, this is gonna be *good*...
> he hadn't mastered the use of his litterbox yet, and used
> to leave his little poops around on the floor in different
> places; we had to institute "Poop Patrol", a periodic
> ritual that involved walking around and collecting these
> goodies off the floor throughout the apartment.
Hey, Muffy sounds *cooool* having his slaves trained like that!
> So, one day I was doing poop patrol with my left hand while
> also munching on a handful of peanuts from my right hand.
"left hand" Tee-hee-hee. SHHH... let's listen!
> Unsalted peanuts, incidentally, are very interesting in Canada...
Yeah, I bet they are! Tee-hee-hee!
> The regulations define salted peanuts as prepared foods, but
> unsalted ones as unprepared--thus...
You sure are an *expert* in peanuts, Uncle Paul! Tee-Hee.
> As I was proceeding through the bedroom, I decided to open
> the window to throw the poops out onto the grass.
"the grass", surrre... Oh, boy! Now we're coming to the *good* part!
> However, since I had both hands full (one with peanuts,
> one with poops), I needed to free up one hand to do it with.
Yeeesss? And then, and then, and THEN? Ooh, I can't wait!
[ears perked up and pointed forward]
SHHH, SHHH... Quiet, Charky!
> So I quickly tossed the remaining peanuts into my mouth and
No, no! You're *killin'* us here! And then, and THEN?
[periscoping like kanga-rabbits]
> bit down...
And, AND?
[eyes widening in anticipation]
> Wrong hand!
BUWA-HA-HA-HA!!!
No, Uncle Paul, you *didn't*! Really? Man, what a *loser*!
BUWA-HA-HA-HA!!!
ROTFLOFAO (rolling on the floor, laughing our furry a**es off)
"Uncle Paul ate the poop, Uncle Paul ate the poop,
the poo-oo-oop, the poo-oo-oop, the POO-OO-OOP!!!
Uncle Paul ate the poop!!!"
[furry paws clapping thunderously]
> The next sound [Aunt] Faye heard was sort of like
> "GAAAKBWAHAHAGAAKBWAHAHA#!^&*^##2&*(AAARGPTUIHAHAHA"
This sounds like a *moose* gargling! BUWA-HA-HA-HA!!!
[rolling over on backs, kicking furry feets into the air]
> as I attempted to laugh, curse, spit, and gag all at once.
Oh, Uncle Paul, make that face again!!! BUWA-HA-HA-HA!!!
[wrinkling noses, twitching whiskers, and flattening ears sideways, imitating Uncle Paul]
BINKY, BINKY, BINKY!!!
> This all happened before we brought Mimi into our family,
> and when Muffy was still as tiny and cute as you are now.
Yay! He is our *hero*!!! We want to be exactly like Muffy when we grow up!
> I think that he's binkying and chuckling to himself over
> all of this now.
Just like we are now! BUWA-HA-HA-HA!!! Muffy sure was clever!
> So that's the story once again.
Yeah, and what a GREAT story it is! It's our *favorite* bedtime story of all time. Ahhh...
> Sweet dreams, little guys.
Thank you, Uncle Paul, thank you for telling it to us again!
Charky and Ash
*YAWN* [eyes closing]
...ZZZ-ZZZ... pooph phatrol ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
...ZZZ-ZZZ... pheanutz, wrong hand ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
...ZZZ-ZZZ... gargling moooze ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
...ZZZ-ZZZ... Ahhh... Yezzz. ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
[falling into RWM (rapid whisker movement) sleep]
> Try to think of a different story next time.
...ZZZ-ZZZ... Nope. Same story. ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
...ZZZ-ZZZ... Uncle Paul, Mr. Peanut. ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
...ZZZ-ZZZ... gargling moooze ...ZZZ-ZZZ...
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