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TOUGH BUN CONTEST - Bunnicula's Entry
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Prosecutor Marcia Chark & Judge Ash Eat-Oats rule on Bunnicula's
(old, washed-up, married, senior) Tough Bun Contest entry:
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CATEGORY
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SCORE
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2. Peeing/Spraying
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spraying slave
"I still occasionally spray the slave before
she leaves for work in the morning."
[The timing here is crucial. DOUBLE POINTS]
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2 x 3 = 6
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spraying another bun
"She is probably close to twice my weight, but is
scared to death of me, and knows who is boss."
[And it ain't Bruce Springsteen.]
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1
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3. Pooping (outside litterbox)
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marking territory
"I have never, and will never ever be litter-trained."
[The classic attitude ages like a fine carrot wine.]
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1
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5. Stealth
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acting quiet and angelic with halo glowing
"I still am fully intact, and always will be."
[Teeth + Testosterone = TB Trouble]
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1
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6. Mass Destruction
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molding/baseboards/curtains
"The stains in the basement floor are permanent,
and quite gross, I might add."
That includes stairs, landings, walls, floors,
washer, dryer, ironing board stand, drywall, etc.
"rippin' the sh*t out of the walls."
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3 x 1 = 3
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molding/baseboards/curtains
That includes stairs, landings, walls, floors,
washer, dryer, ironing board stand, drywall, etc.
"rippin' the sh*t out of the walls."
[Bunnicula's gross spraying is, in fact, legendary.]
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1
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7. Creative Open Category
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leading another bun down the path of delinquency
"I turned this lovely lady, this delicate flower,
into a peein' poopin' floor coverin' tough bunnette."
[A TB Professor Emeritus at his finest.]
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5
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TOTAL POINTS (to date):
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18
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CURRENT STANDINGS
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Place
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BAD Bunny
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Points (BBQ*)
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1
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Valentine
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10
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Senior Tough Bun category
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1
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Bunnicula
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18
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*BBQ = Bad Bunny Quotient
- Judges Charcoal & Ash (a.k.a. Prosecutor Marcia Chark & L'Ash Eat-Oats)
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