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CATEGORY
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SCORE
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1. Chewing/Shredding:
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computer mouse/modem cable
"cable TV cord (and lived to tell about it)"
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2
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telephone cords
"2 lamp cords (am feeling fine *BURP*)"
[Seems you are the cause of great "discord" in your house]
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2x1=2
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books
"a large stack of "irreplaceable" 1950s horse magazines...when the slave
discovered this she cried for an HOUR "
[That stalion on the cover looks like a gelding now. HAR-HAR.
DOUBLE POINTS for "irreplaceable"]
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2x2=4
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sofas and furniture
(+1 bonus points for ANTIQUE velvet)
"the underside of an ANTIQUE velvet wingback chair (value about
$500, as the slaves screamed at me)"
[Indiscrimate chewing of anything "velvet"]
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4+1=5
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4. Digging
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tossing all litter out of litterbox
"I HAVE DUMPED MY LITTERBOX SEVERAL TIMES A DAY FOR MONTHS."
[This is requiered Tough Bun etiquette!"
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1
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2. Peeing/Spraying
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soaking floor
"I pee on the floor. Now the slaves have to cover the floor around
it with newspaper, and they go through so much paper that they had
to take out a subscription to the paper to deal with it. HA HA!
They said the only thing the local paper is good for is a rabbit toilet
anyway."
[The writing in this newspaper is piss-poor]
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2
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8. Threatening or menacing slaves
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beat up
[double points for surgery needed]
"AND--lest you forget--I BEAT UP THE WORTHLESS BIT OF PLUSH SO
BADLY LAST FALL HE NEEDED SURGERY...and it took 4 MONTHS for
his hair to grow back."
[Dr. Eugene Crapper, Platic Surgeon?]
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2x4=8
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beat up
[double points for surgery needed]
"LAST NIGHT I ADMINISTERED THE COUP DE GRAS. [snip] This time
I gave him a HARE LIP. That's right, nephews, I nearly succeeded
in RIPPING HIS FACE OFF. His nose is bloody, his upper lip is so
badly torn it HANGS, and he is headed for surgery tomorrow too.
HA HA HA HA."
[Was this before or after you performed Pamela Lee's lip augmentation?
HAR-HAR-HAR]
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2x4=8
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TOTAL POINTS (to date):
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32
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