CATEGORY
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SCORE
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1. Chewing/Shredding:
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sofas and furniture
"I ventilated the couch flaps with six new holes while
the slave squirted me for chewing carpet." |
4
|
telephone cord
"I've severed two phone cords"
|
1
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telephone cord
"the answering machine cord"
|
1
|
computer mouse/modem cable
"chomped the vacuum"
|
1
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computer mouse/modem cables
"fan"
|
1
|
telephone cord
"three lamp cords -- once shocking myself so badly the
slave took a half day off to rush me to the vet."
[All ac-cord-ing to plan.]
|
3x1+2=5
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stereos
"They actually *paid* to have the stereo checked before
realizing I shortened the speaker wires for them.
Ingrates!"
|
4
|
slaves' clothing/accessories (purses, shoelaces)
"Last night, I chewed holes in the new fleece woobie
in my cage (bah! girl stuff!)"
|
3
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remote control
(+1 bonus points for expensive leather)
"While lounging on the coffee table eating buttons off
the remotes"
|
4
|
slaves' clothing/accessories (purses, shoelaces)
"shredding magazines, I've grazed on dried flowers"
|
3+3=6
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sofas and furniture
"broken two picture frames and a glass candle holder. (Had I not left
claw divots in the pine, the SO would have been blamed. Bummer.)"
|
4
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marking territory
"I occasionally like to pee and poop inside the heat register."
[1 BONUS POINT for strategically placement]
|
1+1=2
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moist, squishy poops between slaves' toes
"*after* I pooped extra smelly cecal pellets on it that the slave
squished in her hand!"
|
2
|
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4. Digging:
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holes through carpet and concrete below
"The slave will *never* recover her security deposit ... I have dug and
chewed carpet down to the subfloor in every carpeted room of her
apartment (and she's got the jar full of carpet fiber to prove it!). And
we're in a "no pets" lease! HA!
|
3
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holes is cat litter
"In my pre-Carefresh days, I dug holes in the cat litter bags so the
litter avalanched onto the carpet and then "hiked" it about the room."
|
1
|
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5. Stealth:
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melting slave's heart with soft, sweet doe eyes to steal slave's food.
"I steal granola and nutri-grain bars right from the slave's hand and dine
on them just out of reach."
|
2
|
lulling slaves into a false sense of security (TM)
"I duped the slave into helping me escape the second level of my condo by
cuddling her face when she opened the door and then jumping over her
shoulder and hopping down her back to freedom - I once did this before
work and made her late!"
|
4
|
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7. Creative Open Category:
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for deeds too diabolical and dastardly to list
"AND the SO burned his beard after he leaned his chin onto a half
eaten lamp cord trying to reach me behind the couch. HA!".
|
8
|
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8. Threatening or menacing slaves:
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growl, bite, etc
"I once growled and lunged at the slave so ferociously she leapt onto the
couch and made the SO capture me and put me to bed."
|
3
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growl, bite, etc
"Before he succeeded, I growled and bit him when he reached under the couch. "
|
3
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growl, bite, etc
"I also snuck up and bit the SO in the butt twice while reading the
paper on the floor in his underwear (the SO, not me)."
[1 BONUS POINT for TIMING]
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1+3=4
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TOTAL POINTS:
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66
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