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Uncle Simeon's bedtime story
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Date: Thu, 13 Nov 1997 01:02:21 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: Uncle Simeon's bedtime story (was Re: Phazyme)
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY <PETBUNNY@LSV.UKY.EDU>
Hi, Uncle Simeon ("Mr. Bubble")!
Your effervescent nephews, Charky and Ash, here.
Please, please, PLEAZZZE, tell us a bedtime story about bunny fartz! We are
all snuggled and cozy in bed with our ears perked up in anticipation.
[Once upon a time, in a thicket far, far away... Ahhh.]
On Friday, Nov 7, 1997 at 13:11, Simeon "Mr. Bubble" Nevel wrote:
> It's more a matter of chemistry and physics than biology.
> I *believe* the simethecone changes the surface tension
> of the bubbles making it far easier for them to pop.
Pop or poop? HAR-HAR-HAR.
Shhh, Charky, let's listen!
> Imagine a sink of soapy water....
Way cool - a cilantro bubble bath! Yeah-yeah, we'll tell Mom we need one
right away. "Mom, Uncle Simeon said..."
> Froth it up *really* well with an egg-beater or such. You'll
> end up with a thick layer of foam (froth) consisting of tiny
> little bubbles.
Charky, this sounds like the time we whipped up a good batch of mushy cecal
pellets and plopped them at the entrance to the balcony.
"Argh!!! What's all this mud stuck between my toes?" HAR-HAR.
> Now try to get rid of the froth by popping all the little bubbles.
We can do a good job with our teeth, Uncle Simeon. We destroy everything in
sight!
[demonstrating by gnashing teeth in mid-air, coupled with several ear-shake
binkies]
> Hard to do, isn't it? They just kind of smoosh around. The
> smaller the bubble, the higher the surface tension and the
> harder it is to burst the bubbles.
Woah. This guy seems to know a lot about bubbles. Intimately, in fact. Ya
know, I am feeling a certain surface tension in my tummy right now. It must
be all those papaya coladas we've been slurpin' lately...
> Now start with that sink of soapy water again....
Mom, draw another bubble bath for us!
Uh-oh, Ashy, it seems we are floating on top now.
[tails bobbing at surface like fuzzy buoys]
> Splash the water around just a bit with your hands and you'll
> end up with a small number of fairly big bubbles floating about.
SPLASH, SPLASH, it's fun to do the bunnyfly stroke here in the sink. This
jet propulsion sure beats paddling around with our ears.
[zooming around on backs like little motorboats with furry feets as sails
and tails acting like rudders]
> *Now* try to pop them.... Pretty easy isn't it?
It's easy but it sure ain't pretty. Uncle Simeon, why is Mom's nose all
curled up like an elephant eating a bitter peanut?
No, Charky, that's a different bedtime story.
> The bigger the bubble, the lower the surface tension and the
> easier it is to pop them.
Ahhhhhhhhh. "When I was a young warthog..."
Yeah, Uncle Simeon's right, my surface tension is much lower now.
> If the bubbles don't pop, the gas can't be passed in either
> direction. Also, a volume of gas in smaller bubbles *probably*
> exerts a much greater pressure against it's container (your
> bunnies GI tract!) than same volume in a few large bubbles,
> thus relieving a significant amount of pain.
Contain *this*, Bubble Boy! [RRR...III...PPP...] Who stepped on a duck?
But Charky, all I see is a rubber duck in this sink. He can't quack like
that, can he?
Ashy, don't bite me or I will pop like a balloon. No, NOOOOOOOOO!
[MUNCH] BOOOOOOOOOOM. Pfffttt...
[bouncing around the sink like a ricochetting billard ball]
AYYYYYYYYY. What happened? Where is the water, where is the sink, where is
the bubble bath? How did I end up in bed?
> Simeon (reliving his days watching Mr. Science as a kid and
making messes in the kitchen experimenting)
Now we understand how to pop bubbles very well. Just wait till Mom sees the
mess we made in the kitchen. "But Mom, Uncle Simeon told us..."
Thanks for the bedtime story, Uncle Simeon!
Zzzz... Zzzz...
[dozing off and drifting into RWM (rapid whisker movement) sleep]
Your nephews,
Charky and Ash
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